Sunflower Faith

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

Are you a Self-Feeder?

¹⁷ that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, ¹⁸ the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and what is the exceeding  greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power (Ephesians 1:17-19, New King James Version)

In 2oo7, in a survey by the Ten Commandments Commision, it was discovered that,”80 percent of 1,000 respondents could name the burger’s primary ingredient — two all-beef patties — but less than six in 10 knew the commandment “thou shalt not kill.” Less than half of respondents — 45 percent — could recall the commandment “honor thy father and mother” but 62 percent knew the Big Mac has pickle.”

That’s just the ten commandments.

Our pastor, a few sermons ago, challenged us in the beginning of October, to be more than “Sunday Christians”, but to be “Active Christians”.

He challenged us to not just commit to reading our bibles for October, but to commit to challenge ourselves to read our bibles, beyond October.

He also challenged us, not to read our bibles, for us, or for fame or for anything, but for Him. He (the pastor), told us, we don’t have to just volunteer at church to be “in service to Our Father in Heaven”, but even in the most mundane act of everyday, we could be doing something for our Father in Heaven.

If you strive to have a better relationship with Our Father in Heaven, it’s convicting that it’s as simple as reading His Word that He gave us.

It’s simple as just “talking” or “praying” to Him.

We could go to church every Sunday and sit on the pew, but it’s like thinking if we go to a garage, that will make us a mechanic.

Just going, isn’t what grows and helps us learn in the Christian faith, but the very act of learning and doing. A mechanic is able to fix cars, not by osmosis, but because they decide one day, to pick up a tool, to read the instruction manual, and learn and grow by experience, to become a mechanic.

The same can be said that it’s beyond just going to church every Sunday (or Saturday), but actively living the faith every single day, in all that is done. There is no limit  except what we create for ourselves.

I wanted to have a closer relationship with Our Father in Heaven, but just going to church every Sunday wasn’t going to do it for me.

I knew that I couldn’t learn and grow, by just “listening to the pastor”, but I had to get my “hands dirty” and learn for myself.

Going to bible studies was great, but if it wasn’t about the bible itself, but reading a bible study guide that was written by someone, by man , doesn’t do it either.

This doesn’t say, using bible study guides that are popular or to study the bible is bad, but if that is as close to “reading the bible” as one gets, might as well call it “bible light”.

Eating at a fast food resturaunt isn’t the same as having a home cooked meal; It may have filled the stomache, but the empty calories that we gain, isn’t really nutrition as a nutrious meal that we could cook at home ourselves without the added preservatives and flavorings.

We need to proceed carefully with using bible studies, that it doesn’t replace the bible  itself ,of being the final authority and spiritual guidance, in our lives.

It’s all about balance…It’s all about balance and understanding…there is a difference between “Bible Studying” and “Bible Reading”.

Doing the latest bible study, isn’t actually reading the bible and shouldn’t be consider as a subsitute for reading the bible for fruitful growth.

It’s not Bible knowledge for its own sake nor being able to quote verses and recite orthodox doctrine. Ultimately, the purpose of Bible study is to learn exactly what the Bible teaches so that you can apply its teachings to your life.-From “How to Improve Your Personal Bible Study/Bible Studying versus Bible Reading“

Dr.Ralph F. Wilson explains the difference between Bible Study and Bible Reading:

First, recognize that Bible reading and Bible study are both important, but different. In order to grow, you need to read the Bible every day as part of your time with God — your devotions or quiet time. During this daily time with God I recommend prayer, wide Bible reading, praise, thanksgiving, confession, and meditation — these are ways to reach out to God with your spirit. Bible reading is one way of letting God refresh your spirit and speak to your mind.

If you really want to learn the Bible, I recommend that you read broadly rather than narrowly. A one-verse devotional may be quick, but it won’t really help you understand the Bible. I try each morning to read one chapter from the Old Testament, one chapter from Psalms or Proverbs, and one chapter from the New Testament. If I’m consistent, this will get me through the Old Testament once each year and the New Testament twice. That’s an example of broad reading and takes five to 10 minutes a day — 15 minutes if the day’s chapters are long.

But Bible reading as part of your daily devotions should be separate from your times of Bible study.

If we are going to grow, we have to go to the source: Him.

If we want to learn, we have to get rid of the distractions and go to His word: the Bible.

Eventually, bible studies are great, but you’re still getting someone’s opinion, but its taking the initiative and recognizing, the training wheels are eventually going to have to be taken off and we are going to have to be able to ride the bike alone with no one holding on.

I once overheard someone say (not exact words),”My parent use to read to us from the bible every day, but I have my own now and as an adult, I don’t know where to start. Isn’t it silly that for something as easy as reading a book, it is the hardest thing to do and with no idea where to start”.

We’ve all been there.

We become a Christian and we buy or get a bible and then don’t know what to do with it, except, maybe leave it on our nightstand or carry it to church, or just don’t carry the bible to church and just sit back in the pew and read the verse that flashes on the screen, but with no idea of the context of the verse.

Can you even remember what verses were talked about in church without looking for the church bulletin? Do you still have the church bulletin from last week?

Out of sight.

Out of mind.

We get busy with daily life; Bills to pay; Sports stats to remember or boss needs that report asap!

Yet, we make time for everything else but His word.

Why?

One of the things I did (prior to making the commitment to read the bible each day in October), was do a search for reading plans.

There are lots of different ways and reading plans that suites each style and I learn that it’s very important to work with what works for YOU and not the person next to you.

As good as what they are using, may look, if it doesn’t get you motivated or is useful, then it’s like buying something just because it’s in style and it just goes to waste and gathers dust.

Our church, as many churches these days, uses the Life Journal and S.O.A.P. reminder for reading the bible each day.

I have more info about Life Journals and SOAP on my left sidebar, along with November’s reading plan to share what I’m using to read the bible each day, but if you don’t think that works for you, no worry.

You don’t even need to buy a life journal.

Blog about it.

Facebook it.

Get any old notebook.

USE what is best for YOU.

Find the method that works for you and helps you stick to it, but more importantly, PRAY to our Father in Heaven for strength, discernment and discipline.

There is really no excuse not to become a “self-feeder” other than lack of personal desire.

Ouch. I know, but the thing is, no one can help you in this, but our Father in Heaven and a willing spirit to let Him work in and through you to make this happen.

There is a domino effect.

First of all, you’ll began to understand more and more who and what our Heavenly Father is and about.

Second, as you build up discipline in reading His word, you’ll find yourself more open and receptive to applying His word more and more in your daily life and through the words you speak to others and yourself and in your heart.

Finally, it rubs off. You’ll kids will see you having that discipline and don’t think they aren’t watching. They are. Kids will do what they see and not really what we say.

And if there is any habit that you’ll like to rub off on them, isn’t reading His word and following Him, at least one habit worth having them emulate.

The crazy purple mohawk hairstyle…must have come from your spouse’s side of the family. LOL

The greatest tool you have in being a Christian, is knowing why you believe in what you believe; If you don’t know that, then how can we expect others to come to know Christ to, if we don’t do the same, ourselves.

From “Sad Statistics” by J. Mitchell Lane

“One of the major contributors to this is that the true Christians are so incorrectly focused on trying to get people in the door that they forget to proclaim what Christianity really is.

They are so focused on trying to reach non-believers that they forget to teach the true believers.

These “seeker-friendly” Churches put so much emphasis on being culturally relevant, that they forget what they are there to do in the first place, and only end up adding on to the number of people who claim to be “Christian”, but have no idea what it means…………we do need to be able to communicate what our beliefs really are instead of sitting back and letting everyone have a false (or non-existent) view of Christianity.

We need to weed out the false teachers and the false sheep by preaching the actual Word of God, and not sermons like, “A Christian’s Guide to Financial Security” where the Bible isn’t even opened.”

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¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.-Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NKJV)

Not good enough? Just want to fit in?

Ever feel that way?

I have on many occassions.

I was the wallflower that blended into the wallpaper and more and just wasn’t there. Sometimes by choice, most of the times, not by choice.

I’m not perfect.

As a matter of fact, I’m far from perfect and I’ve made mistakes in my past and I still make mistakes today.

Underlying it all, no matter what, I sometimes feel like I just don’t measure up, or I’m not exciting enough, or, well, through that “You don’t deserve it” filter, that I’m not good enough, so I find myself betraying who I really am and feeling more lonely and unfufilled then at peace and in place.

I sometimes feel like I’m at conflict….I find myself falling into the trap of being a people pleaser and trying to please people who can’t and won’t ever be pleased over being concerned about caring about pleasing and serving our Father more in Heaven.

The fear of man brings a snare,  But whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe. Proverbs 29:25 (NKJV)

I found out about “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl” by Lysa Terkeurst, via a random blog search.

It was just one of those days, nothing going on, kids were asleep, hubby went to bed early, I just didn’t feel like sleeping, so just “google” the internet, the never ending homeschool researching, keeping up with what was going on out there, reading about curriculum and such, that I came across a mom who had preorder the book and was going to blog about each chapter.

There was something about the book that was captivating, meanwhile I was making note toresume my other book studies that I had going on,but I had to get this book.

As I read the first chapter, it reminded me of well…me.

At one time a very socially awkward girl who stayed in the shadows as much as she could. The less attention to me, the better and even know, I prefer to really not be in the center but at the sides or in the shadows.

I just don’t like attention or feel comfortable with it.

Mostly because I don’t feel like I deserve any and also, I feel embarrassed and self-conscious because it’s not about me and I don’t want it to be about me….and more than anything, since being a Christian, oh it feels like long ago, it’s about Him, not about me.

I feel when the attention is on me…it’s just….wordly. I feel like, I wish a hole would open up and swallow me and I disappear but if it could happen where people divert their attention from me and look to Him instead..that would be great.

I think…that’s why I am actually okay with being dull. Not much exciting going on around me.

Even my husband remarked that I don’t even wear nail polishes anymore and I told him, it was really because I don’t feel the need or comfortable doing so.

It just feels….like a waste of time and sometimes, just too….worldly.

I’ll be honest, if I had the opportunity for a manicure and pedicure, I might not pass it up, but I don’t feel the need for it nor that it really defines me.

Instead, it makes me feel like someone else that I’m really not and that I’m trying to hide behind something that really isn’t real.

There maybe those rare moments I find myself drawn to wearing a bright purple nailpolish, but maybe on my toes, but most of the times…I find it…inconvenient to wear nailpolish and really…it’s not who I am naturally so I feel fake.

Okay….they make my troll feet look a little better than they really are, but I’m a mom and a busy wife, and wearing polish on my fingers…just makes me feel like someone I’m really not.

That is a the struggle that I have. It’s hard for me to open up to people and even then, I’m constantly guarded.

I’ve been hurt many times by those who I’ve called friends, only to feel judged by “pre-conditions” that often asked more of me than I ask of them.

I’m wary of “confidants” who later seem to relish in passing off what I share, as gossip with no real purpose but to hurt and humilate.

And through it all…I felt like that girl back in school just wanting to belong….somewhere. To just be who I am without preconditions or judgment.

Lysa wrote about a time when she was going through a difficult time in her life and she had a friend who was deep in the faith. Lysa wrote,”….Though she had no idea of the junk I was dealing with, she was tenderly responsive to God’s promptings.” It’s rare to really, completely know individuals like that in one’s life.

She (Lysa), went on to write,”….This statement (this was in response to a card her friend had sent her with the verse, Jeremiah 29:11-13) stood in such stark contrast to my flawed perception of being identified by my circumstances.This verse painted a possibilty that the God of the universe loved me not for what I did right but simply because I was His.”

I stopped wearing nail polishes, because they don’t define who I am. They aren’t who I am and who was I really trying to impress? In the same way, I was tired of “trying to be good enough”, because no matter what, no one was going to be happy and the merry go round, was never going to stop.

While searching for a scripture that had come to mind, I came across this from an article called, “The Folly of Trying to Please Men,”

There is among men so great a contrariety of judgments, and dispositions, and interests, that they will never agree among themselves; and if you please one, the rest will be thereby displeased. He that you please is an enemy to another; and therefore you displease his enemy by pleasing him. Sometimes, state differences divide kingdoms into parties, and one party will be displeased with you if you be of the other, and both if you are neuters, or dislike them both; and each party think their cause will justify any accusations they can charge you with, or odious titles they can give you, if not any sufferings they can bring upon you. Church differences and sects have been found in all ages, and you cannot be of the opinion of every party; when the world aboundeth with such variety of conceits, you cannot be of all at once. And if you be of one party, you must displease the rest; if you are of one side in controverted opinions, the other side accounteth you erroneous: and how far will the supposed interest of their cause and party carry them!-Richard Baxton, The Folly of Trying to Please Men!

How much does this remind me of Galations 1:10 (NKJV),For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

Where is this journey going to take me when I’m finished with this book?

I don’t know.

I’m not sure.

I do know…I find myself, slowly, worrying less and less about the world’s thoughts and more and more concerned about what our Father in Heaven’s thoughts are.

¹ If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. ² Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. Colossians 3:1-2 (NKJV)

I live a different life than everyone else does.

I have different experiences.

I have had different life experiences that have defined me, led me to Christ, to HIS Glory and testament.

If I worried more about making everyone happy and serving them, then Him, I am not being true to our Father in Heaven, I’m not being true to His testament of what He has done and is doing in my life, and my focus, our focus, is not on Him, but what is bound here on Earth.

People are not perfect. There is no escaping that and there is no escaping that none of us, is or will be good enough.

Sigh.

Now to remind that little girl who just wants to belong that.

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