Archive for Book Study-Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

Book Reflections-Chapter 10 "When My Ugly Comes Out"


That is just a title that makes you feel two things…”What not Me” and “Oooooo….not sure I wanna read that”.

We have days like that don’t we…we don’t want to admit it, but we do and the worse things…when that happens..if we don’t catch it fast…it can get the best of us and the people around us.

Lysa shared that when she is short-tempered and flat-out grumpy, she often doesn’t feel like His prescence, but the truth is that He is always there.

She made another good point that we often forget too: His Grace doesn’st give us a free pass to act out how we feel, with no regard to His commands.

What Grace does is reminds us to learn from the situation, become mature and consolation in the moment, but not to repeat it.

This passage from her book is a great remidner why we need to make sure we don’t let our ugly out:
“Satan delights in our anxiety, anger and frustration, and would love to keep darkness drawn over our hearts and minds. He breeds within our dark ugliness all that is opposite of God’s character: hate, despair, fear, impatience,rudenss,self-centeredness, self-reliance, harshness, and acting out of control.

So what is the cure?

Praise God!

Yes…Praise God, because it drive the enemy OUT!

It was great how Lysa shared how praise pulls back the dark curtains and shares how praise just brings fresh life into our tired souls.

This reminds me of cleaning our homes and opening the windows to let in the fresh air and clear out the musty air in our homes…remember what the difference is like.
The same can be said for our souls and how true that is.

Lysa shared on page 128-129, some key factors to consider when we find our uglies coming out, such as:

  • Am I overly tired?

This is especially true if you are a new mother, have several children, maybe there is stress in your life, recovering from sickness, to name a few things. We love to think we are super-women, but we have to take a note from Mary who stopped her work to rest and listen to Jesus in contrast to busy Martha who was on the go.

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”
41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:39-42, New King James Version)

As Lysa shared, she realized that she isn’t doing anyone, any favors, if she sacrifices her rest and the same goes to the rest of us.

Yes, we have things that must be taken care of, but we don’t serve others, our Father or ourselves well, if we are too tired.

Then there are other factors to consider, such as:

  • Am I overcommitted?

It’s the holidays. The busiest time of the year, but in the midst of it all, we can’t forget the true reason for the season, the King of kings was born, Jesus Christ.

How do we better serve Him if we spend our times, overspending it and leaving none to where it truly deserves? With Him?

This is the same for any time of our lives.

When we find ourselves to the point that we are too busy to spend time with Him; To read His word, to pray; We need to put the brakes on, repriortize and rethink what is really more important.

  • Have I compromised some of my healthy boundaries lately?

It’s worse if you are a people pleaser, but sometime, it’s actually okay to say no. Think of unanswered prayers and the gratitude that our Heavenly Father doesn’t say yes to everything to us; Imagine the mess we would be in, yet we say yes to everything in our earthly lives despite what it may cost us or our families.

This is something as parents, ourselves, we learn. There are times, if we want our children to grow up to be responsible, healthy, and happy, part of that includes knowing that they can’t always have what they want and have to either earn it or learn to live without it.

  • Is there sin in my life I’m avoiding?

Ouch…tough one isn’t it. We don’t like to think it, but it happens doesn’t it. We do something, we know we shouldn’t and rather than confront it, we sweep it under the rug or project it on other people. Lysa shares that “Sin can worm its way into our hearts and affect our minds before we even realize what’s hit us“; That’s not even a comforting thought, but that is true.

Yes we are saved and forgiven, but we are still sinners at heart and still will slip and sin.

She shares what helps all of us do when we have the uglies and along with it the sin bunnies we have swept under the carpet and trying to ignore: To confront our sins and be honest with ourselves and really assess with honesty what part our sin might be playing into a situation.

Too often we may think it’s the other person, but before we judge someone else, we’ve gotta stop and ask ourselves, is there something in us first that we have done and are not being honest to ourselves and to our Heavenly Father about.

It’s freeing to be honest and confessing our own wrong actions because through His forgiveness of us and what we have sinned, we are able to more easily forgive others.

Honestly, it’s hard for us to forgive others, if we cannot forgive ourselves and go before our Heavenly Father and ask forgiveness of ourselves first.

  • Do I have things on my calendar to look forward to?

If December is one big red mark, chances are, you have a lot of things to be looking forward to, don’t you? I like this easy solution, because it helps be an instant stress reliever and even if you can’t afford to go out for dinner or even if it’s just church, you can also schedule one night out of the week for say, “Family Game Night” when the t.v. and video games are completely turned off and the family gathers around the table to play board games or maybe, schedule a picnic if the weather allows it, every other Saturday.

This is a great stress reliever for everyone, including yourself and helps with improving family relations that may often be the source for some household, tensions.

The biggest thing that I enjoy about this chapter is the reminder that through praise, we have a powerful arsonel against the “uglies”.

Another suggestion too…is get index cards and write your favorite praise verses on it, laminate it and keep it on a book ring, so when you feel the uglies coming or you’re having a bad day, week, or month, you can pull out your tools of praise and mentally or out loud, shout out praises to our Heavenly Father.

Book Reflections-Chapter 8 "But I Want What She Has"

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

Ever heard of the saying, “The grass is greener on the other side”?

Maybe “Keeping up with the Joneses”?
Ever stop and realized that you have something that your neighbors next door doesn’t have, that your friends, doesn’t have, that well….really no one has?
Give up?
The answer is you! Yes, you, you are unique and well, so is the person next to you and your neighbor and …….

4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. 5 For each one shall bear his own load. (Galatians 6:4-5, New King James Version)

This chapter is a reminder, that yes, we may all yearn to have what the other person can do, but when we take the time to see the gifts that our Heavenly Father has blessed us with, we each have a special gift of our own, to bring to His Kingdom.

Often we see people we may admire far or near, and think…”Wow, they are so perfect” but what we don’t know is what it may took to get to that level, or maybe, under that facade of being perfect, there is more going on then they are sharing with their world.

Chapter 8 is a mindful reminder of Galatians 6:4-6, , that we mustn’t compare ourselves or our lives to others to measure the value God has blessed our own lives with.

We may not have a ministry that is well known, maybe we’re  not good with words, but it doesn’t mean that we haven’t been blessed. Sometimes, our blessings and gifts,  are by virtue of the service that we do in our homes, in our communities or our local church and as my pastor reminded us, many sermons ago, everyday of our lives, is a day we can spend ,”In Service to Him” doing something not for us or in hopes we get recognized, but in purposeful service to our Heavenly Father.

How many of us know those who spend so much time looking at what other people are doing, how they are living on the other side of the fence, that they miss the joy and blessing our Father has laid at our feet right here before us.

"Too many of us live with an uncontrolled thought life." pg. 102

12 For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12, New King James Version)

I’ve known people who spend so much time worrying about what others would think or think up “what if” scenerios, that in the process, they became unhappy or unfufilled. It didn’t matter that the people  that they were idolizing were discovered to be deep in debt, or that the “new purchase” that they thought they knew those people bought, turn out to be bought on sale or secondhand or given as gifts by others, the trouble was that the people  had stuff, that they thought, if they had it too, everyone would be happy, they would be fufilled and things would be perfect.

Doesn’t really work out that easy does it?

Isn’t that how ads work best?

It always has to be something bigger, something new, if you have this, if you do this, yes, you, your life, will finally be complete until the next big thing happens in the next five minutes.

Lysa wrote,“When I compare myself to others and focus on wanting what they have, it quite simply wears me out trying to figure out how to have more, be more and do more”

This isn’t what our Heavenly Father wants for us. He wants us to be free of this.

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:25-34, New King James Version)

It is a loving reminder when we stop looking side to side and start looking upward, that we realize that we all are unique and blessed by our Heavenly Father with our own talents and gifts.

Book Reflections-Chapter 7"She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not"

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

I just never seem to feel like I measured enough to fit in anywhere.I was never the most popular girl in school and I don’ tthink I was the most un-popular girl either, because I spent a large portion of going to school, trying not to be noticed, at all.

Even to this day, I tend to have those moments, when I just want to melt in the background and though, there are times, I can be seen with a smile…inside…I feel like the awkward girl who can never belong.

During a meme, while visiting a blog, I stumbled across this quote, that even to this day, still sticks with me: “”We cannot choose whom we will love if we claim to be Christians.” ~Anonymous”

Try this instead: 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35, New King James Version)

Wow.

When we love others, we are living the truth of God out loud"

The trouble with insecurities and being able to love ourselves and not in a self-center or self-idolization way, is that the enemy can use this, use our doubts, to not only question ourselves, but our Father in Heaven and in the process, our relationships with others, both believers and non-believers.

No one can fix this except our Heavenly Father and in and through Him, ourselves.

Nothing can fill this void until we realize that men’s thoughts and emotions are fickle, but our Father…He is consistant and never changing…He is always there. He always will be.

He lays that on us, as a promise and His word is ALWAYS faithful:

10 For the mountains shall depart
      And the hills be removed,
      But My kindness shall not depart from you,
      Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
      Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.
       (Isaiah 54:10, New King James Version)

People are unreliable, but not Him.

He doesn’t deal with cliques, or emotions or judging our worth by what we wear, how much money we do or do not have, or anything else. He deals in the fact that He loves YOU and ME and EVERYONE.

He loved us so much His gift to us was through His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ, who lived and died, for you and me and everyone.

Not a select few.

Everyone.

So the moms at the local P.T.A. won’t talk to you because you don’t live in the right neighborhood, or you homeschool or you don’t, or maybe they just don’t like you for no other reason, then “just because”.

It’s okay.

Really.

He does.

He loves them equally as He loves you.

External achievement never equals internal acceptance. pg. 88 from "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl"
Lysa shares something that, Robert McGee, who wrote, “The Search of Significance” shared in his book:

“……Loneliness is not relegated only to unbelievers. Ninety-two percent of the Christians attending a recent Bible conference admitted in a survery that feelings of loneliness were a major porblem in their lives. All shared a basic symptom: a sense of despair at feeling unloved and a fear of being unwanted or unaccepted.”

Changes the way you look at others doesn’t it?

Maybe even oneself?

There are days when I just have those days I feel like I just don’t belong. We all do at some point of our lives.

I have to remind myself that I’m not who I think I am and as I read, Chapter 7, it was a reminder that I’m not the only one either.

Lysa points out something that we forget sometimes,..”It’s a choice.”(pg94).

Simple words.

It’s a choice.

We have a choice how we react to others just like they have a choice how to react to us and back to the earlier quote, as Christians, we can’t pick whom we choose to love. We do pick how we choose to act.

Our feelings are a gift from our Father and part of that a gift to choose are we going to act in and with God’s love.

He’s been really challenging and encouraging me in dealing with some of these feelings that I feel I still carry with me; Not wanting to let go of that little girl who never belong, who never seem to be able to find a friend who, well, was just a friend and didn’t just pick and choose what it was about her, that they wanted to be friends with.

That is what makes His word reign above all other words, because it is a constant reminder, He is so much bigger than You and I and anyone, including those who criticize us, who gossip about us, who judge us are.

Because He loves them JUST as much as He loves you and I and sees no division.

He sees a need in you and I and them and anyone to be loved and He steps in and says, I am bigger than that and just as He loves us, He calls us to love each other and ourselves in and through Him and for Him.

I’m not perfect.

I’m imperfect but praise Him for His forgiveness.

I have a long road to go, but when I wonder, will He be there for me, He doesn’t hesistate to remind us that He is:

10 For the mountains shall depart
      And the hills be removed,
      But My kindness shall not depart from you,
      Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
      Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.
       (Isaiah 54:10, New King James Version)

The funny thing, I was sharing with a friend, that I really felt our Father in Heaven, really just strongly laying on my heart, to follow Him and encouraging me to face some things that have been on the back of mind and challenging me to.

I then came here to check to see if the next “Yes to God” book study was posted and when I saw that it had, and it was for Chapter 7, as I read the chapter and came to these verses:

18 “ Do not remember the former things,
      Nor consider the things of old.
       19 Behold, I will do a new thing,
      Now it shall spring forth;
      Shall you not know it?
      I will even make a road in the wilderness
      And rivers in the desert.
       20 The beast of the field will honor Me,
      The jackals and the ostriches,
      Because I give waters in the wilderness
      And rivers in the desert,
      To give drink to My people, My chosen.
       21 This people I have formed for Myself;
      They shall declare My praise. (Isaiah 43:18-21, New King James Version)

See.

We serve an Awesome Father.

Drop by Paula at “His Ways“; She is hosting the “Yes to God Tuesdays” for the current book study of,”Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl” by Lysa Terkeurst.

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