First of all, do you struggle with “Insecurity” issues?
Come join Kim and others, every Saturday, at the Internet Cafe Chat.
If no, why not? If yes, can you tell of a specific situation that happened to you that brought out your insecurities (the more details, the better).
Feel free to post anonymously…Again, if you do struggle with insecurity, what do you believe is the root cause of your insecurity?
Kim, over at Internet Cafe Chat, posted this as this week’s discussion question and it fitted with an early post I had written this week regarding being a wallflower.
Dealing with insecurity issues has been something that I’ve always dealt with and slowly have begun to trust our Heavenly Father more and more to help me gain victory in overcoming.
It’s something,I’ve learned, I can’t do it on my own nor something that I can or should use as an excuse not to do things either, since it becomes no one else’s fault, but that of my own.
The biggest trouble with dealing with insecurity is that not only does it causes, but it seems to reinforce being an introvert and I already feel awkward enough in social situations.
Never really the one to be the center of attention, I was the wallflower that clung to walls,in fear, of not knowing how to deal or talk with people, couple with having people in my life that were often either needy,manipulative or just bearing ill-will.
When I tried to stand up for myself or be strong and voice my opinion or feelings, I was very often cut down and in the “spirit of putting me in my place”, I have had people in my life whose methods were to be quickly defensive, emotional and ugly.
This led to just development of fear of even trying or wanting to try and feeling more like a kicked under-dog, rather than a human being.
I think a lot of the root cause of my insecurity, is never really knowing what is was like to have a true friend, in the sense of picking people for friends, who were quick to gossip behind my back, and growing up and even as an adult,being around people whose best interests often were more in themselves then in other people.
This has been a tricky field to walk around particularly in the even younger beginnings of my walk with our Heavenly Father, and I often find I tend to drift toward people who needed others to make themselves feel better rather than have that already sense of self confidence in who they are in the first place.
At the same time, I found myself learning to develop a sense of confidence in who I was and learning that I don’t need nor is define by what other people have to say or think.
Other people are always going to have a judgment or opinion, often for the worse and often because it helps them fill a hole that is in themselves so they find it necessary to project it on others.
It’s still a chore though, battling that sense of “I need to make everyone else happy” when the reality is that we are responsible for really, our ownselves, and that is no one’s else job but ourselves to take and do.
I remember an experience where I had someone tell me “what I was suppose to be thinking, doing and saying” and because I didn’t do what “they had expected and assume I should do”, they were not short at words in letting me know how I had fail myself and them and how angry it made them.
There is a damaging power when people treat others that way; That there is only ONE avenue to expectations or feelings and if it comes any place other than from themselves, it’s wrong or bad.
The enemy uses this to his advantage; He uses this to divide marriages, families, friendships, the church and one’s personal walk with our Heavenly Father.
If he can keep planting seeds of thoughts that “I’m right, they are wrong and they are just trying to make me feel bad”, he succeeds in stunting our growth with our Heavenly Father.
If we find ourselves unable to forgive others or to hold grudges…it harms us more so than it harms the other person a lot of times others.
It can create seeds of doubt, anger, and pride that we are never wrong, it must have been someone else, not me and it’s their problem not me.
Insecurity is a tool of the enemy. Remember when he whisper in Eve’s ear; He played to her insecurity and maybe her pride too.
Between the two, it help bring about the expulsion from Eden and for sin to have a gate to enter.
So I find myself realizing…if I truly have faith and trust in Jesus Christ, like I claim to, there is NO place for insecurity.
There is NO place for fear of doing anything that will bring victory and glory to our Heavenly Father.
How does insecurity bring glory to our Heavenly Father? It just doesn’t. It breeds guilt,it breeds fears, it breeds self-pride and lack of humilty and anger and worry and anguish.
Wow…that’s a lot that a little ol’ insecurity can bring; No wonder the enemy must cherish using that.
As I struggle to claim victory in the Name and Glory of Jesus Christ, over insecurity, I realized, that means stepping out of my comfort zone; After all, if I have faith in Jesus Christ of delivering me, is it an act of “lack of faith” by not believing, our Heavenly Father will see us through.
In addition, I realize that I have no excuse not to go to church, to participate in bible studies, to just participate, in anything, in the name of Jesus Christ.
His name and word was not and is not to be hidden away for no one else but ourselves to see and hear.
We don’t see a lighthouse hiding in the fog, but instead brightly lighting it’s lamp for all stray ships lost in the harbor to see it, so the same for us, if we are to proclaim ourselves in the name of Jesus Christ.
The most motivating and awakening thought was from a sermon that my pastor had given us that drove home the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones, of going to church, to have real life fellowship and not just online, but in person, was that our Heavenly Father did NOT design us to be hiding in the dark.
As he challenge everyone that day, and I challenge myself each day, “Experience Faith not just proclaim Faith”.
So even when I feel the slightest fear of insecurity, I realize…I hurt myself more by submitting to my insecurities rather than saying ,”No matter what, I trust God to lead and guide me in this and I will do this.”
There will be good days,but there will be bad days too and we will falter as often as we succeed.
We are all human beings; We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes, but didn’t we make a mistake against our Heavenly Father and yet, HE forgave us and still love us; So we must do that with everyone and with ourselves.
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