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It happened. Our first, “What about socialization”? question regarding homeschooling.
One of the neighbors found out we were homeschooling and casually asked in question something that I knew we were going to have to deal with other family members who were unaware, yet, that we were homeschooling, “What about socialization”?
It’s funny of all the thing that people would ask about homeschooling, socialization almost seems the prime concern.
“What about it,” I wonder myself?
A child goes to school. When do they really have time to socialize and how does going to a public school anymore beneficial than homeschooling or even going to a private school?
Unlike in home schooling, most of the time a child really gets “true socialization” maybe on the bus, time before school starts, and short time during lunch and/or if there is any recess and after school and that is it. During the official school hours, in most kindergarten and upward, the child isn’t allowed to really associate with his or her peers unless it’s in a group activity, gets reprimanded for speaking to their classmate or out of turn.
Is that something a homeschooled child really is missing out on?
I brought up an interesting question for the neighbor to contemplate on the topic of socialization. What about the time before a child starts school, how are they not being anymore socialized then, then they are while being homeschooled?
They accompany parents to church where they have Sunday school; there are activities during the week such as field trips, sports and interactive studies, not counting just regular trips to the grocery store, post office, retail stores and/or restaurants.
Isn’t that socialization?
For me, the advantages of homeschooling is that the child is learning to interact and work not only within his/her peer group (i.e. during home school play dates, field trips, etc.), but they are learning how to interact within a diverse society that eventually they are going to have to work in, go to school on their own in and filled with people of various ages (and temperament).
So, technically, isn’t socialization about learning to work with different people in and around your environment and not just in a self-contained classroom with other kids the same age?
What we liked about homeschooling as well is the fact of fewer distractions versus added distractions.
Another neighbor, joining in the conversation, expressed an interest in homeschooling due to her child dealing daily with bullies and ironically not one on one, but rather, bullies constantly interrupting the classroom and taking up the teacher’s time and attention away from the students.
She then begin to list un-acceptable behavior problems she was dealing with in association with children her child was in contact with and how they were coming home talking and acting in ways that was leaving them not only frustrated but revealed to be the reason why several families in the neighborhood had actually moved from the area so their children could attend a different school district. She revealed that they were actually looking at moving themselves or homeschooling so their children spent less time being distracted and could spend more time studying.
It finally came back to…is socialization of the unhealthy kind really socialization and is it really a concern for parents to think that just because a child was homeschooled, that they were going to act like pariah in societies; Or do people bring up the socialization question, because as a society, we are led to believe that unless we go to a public institution, we are not learning to work with others.
I brought up this question, what about then, kids who weren’t attending school yet? (Referencing the infants and toddlers who are not attending daycare or pre-school).Are we to say then that they were uncivilized and un-socialized?
Is it really up to other people besides ourselves, to determine if our children were “socialized or not” or is this just more a result of pre-conditioning versus actualization that by not going to a public school and by being homeschooled, children are allowed to learn to not only be more individuals but also learned more self-reliance and ability to think for themselves versus a group mentality.
My husband brought up the case of college.
Once a child graduates from high school, they are on their own more or less.
A child, who is being homeschooled, is being taught the same skills a high school graduate has to learn on their own to develop priorities, discipline and ability to work around a flexible schedule versus a set 8 to 3:30 schedule that they were use to for most of their childhood/teens.
They,the homeschooled child, can expand on what they are studying or just stick to the bare bones, but ultimately they learn they are responsible for their own success and failure. That is a vital part of life.
I found it interesting as they were discussing this, that they brought up the fact that it really struck them that my children were more interested in subjects that they had a hard time getting their own kids interested in.
I explained to them that the beauty of homeschooling is that there is no “set” time to studying a subject out of concern for meeting a deadline to learn things specifically for a test so the kids were able to really focus more on a subject and if wanted to, expand their studying versus limiting out of time restraints.
In addition, while being homeschooled, when we go out on our field trips or are with other home school children, they are learning to interact with children not only on different age levels but level of academics as well. One mother that I spoke with who was a home-schooling parent, from the time her child was born (well not at the time of birth but at pre-k/kindergarten level), had homeschooled all her children till they had graduated at the various ages of 16, 17 and one at 18.
The kids went on to begin college early and graduate with Masters.
This isn’t to say ALL homeschoolers will graduate at the young age of 16, 17 or 18 or get Masters but it goes to show that unlike in the public school where everyone more or less graduates at the same rate/age/level….homeschooling has no boundaries so if a child is able to progress one or two grades higher, they can without restriction.
The same goes with socialization. They don’t have to just socialize with just a teacher and those of their age, there is no really age limit of who they interact and in the process, it does aid in both the maturity level of their ability to make decisions but it aids in learning to work with a diverse group, and way of thinking that isn’t bound by guidelines.
For me….my kids are being socialized.
They learn this anyway going to church, going to the stores, to the restaurants, when we are out on field trips.
We are looking at enrolling them in some type of activity outside of the home, maybe at a YMCA, so either way…they are going to still have contact with the world and are going to be socialized, just not restricted to either before school or after school.
Being homeschooled doesn’t mean being in a bubble; but rather, they are going to be able to do some things that their own peers won’t be able to do. While their peers are in school learning about say, Jamestown by books or video….we can pile in the vehicle and they can see Jamestown with their own eyes, and talk to the locals and see history in action.
Once again, not a norm and pretty expensive but for those who can do it or who just use creativity to inspire their kids through homeschooling…homeschooling does not make a child anymore weird, socially isolated or strange than a child who may decide to go gothic, dye their hair whatever color, and wear all black and attend public school.
The kids who are being home-schooled are going to get socialized, big difference is that what they are getting is everyday, real world application of what they are learning and it’s great when we learn. say, about firemen, we can just hop in the car and take a field trip to see the real fireman in action.
I really would love to hear from all of you who are homeschooling yourself and had to deal with the “What about socialization” question yourself?
What were your reactions?
How did you handle when friends, families or strangers approach you with the “S” word?
I and other Gentle Readers, would love to hear your stories regarding “What about socialization”?
Btw…Socialization in action soon….taking the kids to see the King Tut exhibit and unfortunately, mommy (or is it mummy) is having TOO much fun putting together the lesson plan for that. I am getting so…..wrapped up…in learning about King Tut myself…Sigh…yes, I know…I need to step away from the teaching and remember there are other things….like cricut and dachshunds and chocolate, oh my!
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About the author
Twinkle Mom
Tags: Homeschooling, personal experiences, socialization, society
I don’t know where the concept came from that homeschooled children are kept inside the house and out of society. I am so glad there are groups available for socializing, but even if there weren’t, there’s church, sports, the things you mentioned. As homeschooling is more widely accepted, hpefully you won’t encounter those type questions on a daily basis!
Laurie Anns last blog post..
@Laurie Ann: Now that I’ve actually had to personally answer that question myself, it really makes me wonder where the idea that homeschool children aren’t or weren’t being “socialized”.
I’m really interested in hearing if anyone else has had that experience of being asked that question and what their thoughts are about that.
For me, it’s so hard to see how a homeschool child wasn’t being socialized and if anything was given a broader opportunity since they aren’t as restricted to a set time schedule and not require to be in a “classroom” every day in the same environment.
For us, homeschooling broadens beyond the home and involves everyday experiences and when we are out and about and if anything, it’s great to be able to take them places so they can see in play, what they are studying first hand and if we want to expand or shorten our studies, we’re able to instead of being restricted how much we can learn or share.
The other funny question is “What about textbooks”? Lol. I thought back about my own years in school and textbooks was only just a small part of what was used and I had teachers who didn’t even use a textbook at all.
Going back to socialization. It was just really interesting to think that people thought homeschooling children had no socialization skills when they don’t stop and think that, we are in a position to interact with people everyday….Unless we were out in the country, in the middle of no where: It really is hard not to have real life, day to day skills being developed.
Twinks, this is an amazing post! Would you consider sharing it on BlogMommas? Or maybe writing up something about homeschooling and what it means to you and sharing that?
I am so glad that it is going so well for you!
((HUGS))
Becki@BlogMommass last blog post..Tuesday’s Tip Jar
Loved your post on socialization, Twinklemom. The whole socialization question originally comes from the days of the Industrial Revolution when children had to be “socialized” to sit still and be quiet in their school desks so that they could later sit still and be quiet on the assembly line. Prior to that time, homeschooling and private tutors were common.
Check out “The Call To Brilliance” by Resa Steindel Brown for more details on the history of it and for lots of wonderful information on homeschooling, how her children went to college very early and her daughter even has a PhD in Math. You can also find her blog at http://thecalltobrilliance.blogspot.com.
Joy @ Joy Of Dessertss last blog post..Bread Baking Tips To Remember
@Joy @ Joy Of Desserts:
@Joy @ Joy Of Desserts: I have it on my Amazon wish list and going to order it..It looks really good and looks like it will help us answer questions we’ve received about us homeschooling.